The right motivation works wonders!

Every morning I wake up to the chaos of two girls. They are unmotivated, sassy and have no fear. As a close friend playfully teased me “they know you’re weak!”. My girls are in senior Kindergarten and Grade one. My oldest has been doing this routine for four years. Still, I have to chase her and remind her of every single step. My youngest is just in her second year but has mastered breakfast and getting dressed, minus her socks. For some reason she does not enjoy wearing socks. So to give you a clear picture here, I wake up to one partially dressed child with a bowl of kid kibbles (cereal) and one older child day dreaming and dancing to non-existent music. I have tried stern talks, taking away enjoyable toys and even making them do chores when they come home from school (the horror!). None of these tactics has improved the morning routine. Folks, I am just asking for the basics here! Get dressed, have breakfast, brush your teeth and put on your outdoor gear. I do their hair as they have yet to master their manes. I was honestly starting to feel like all hope was lost. That this would be just another year of having to be a drill sergeant. And then a wonderful thing happened. Last night I allowed the children to watch a movie on Netflix that they really enjoyed. My youngest looked up at me with her big blue eyes and asked me if they could watch TV in the morning. I looked at my oldest that was listening intently. I said yes, if you get your morning routine done fast enough for free time, you can absolutely watch a movie before it is time to go to the bus stop. The next morning I was rudely awakened ten minutes before my alarm. I recieved a full report from my oldest child while my eyes were still adjusting to the day. “Mom, just so you know, I am wearing shorts with a sweater because they match well. I had my oatmeal and my teeth are brushed. I just need to put my shoes on and you do my hair!” She announced proudly. “Okay good, do the shoes” I mumbled still only half conscious. Next in strolled my vertically challenged Kindergartener. “I ate breakfast and brushed my teeth! And I’m dressed” she said almost in-your-face-like. I rolled out of bed and assessed the situation. Somehow they had done it! A full 37 minutes before the bus. So I put on a movie as promised and got to enjoy my coffee and making their lunches in beautiful peace. This was definitely a win win! It is interesting to me that no amount of negative reinforcement would have ever worked. My girls are reward oriented. And now that I know that, I can fully use it to my advantage. So take a moment to think of an area where you are experiencing challenge in your life. Could changing up the motivational style improve your chances of better results ? It is certainly worth a try!

Defending your Milkweeds

In January 2018, I took possession of my new home in a very small town. My family went from living in a city with a population of 40,000 to a town with a population just under 4,000. When we moved in, our beautiful four acre country lot was buried in snow. Spring thankfully came early and I was eager to get outside and enjoy the nature. I weed whacked all the weird plants I had never seen before. I kept the lawn cut short with an old lawnmower the previous owners had left. We enjoyed the summer and hosted many bonfires. Flash forward a year to this summer. Something magical happened. Because my job was throwing a ridiculous amount of shifts my way, the lawn did not get the manicure it did last year. Things had time to grow. And grow they did! Big strange plants with broad oval leaves. As I sat outside one morning trying to find my inner goddess, my youngest daughter came sneaking out of the house to interrupt my sanctuary. She squatted down by these plants and quickly discovered they were home to a many footed friend. Caterpillars! Caterpillars mom!!! I abandoned my luke warm coffee and took a look myself. Indeed, about 20 caterpillars were easily visible on the many overgrown plants I now knew to be milkweeds. My daughter could not have been more delighted. She immediately plucked one from its happy leaf home and stuck it to her shirt exclaiming “she likes me!”. We called her older sister away from the TV she was glued to and everyone took turns examining the milkweeds and shouting gleefully when we had located another one. Big ones! Small ones! Some munching away! Others bopping their weird antennas around. It was truly a wonderful morning. After starring peacefully at this new upfront and close nature for about as week… it dawned on me that none of this would have been possible if I had weed whacked like I did last year. I actually got more joy and use from my patio this year because I had let it be. So much of life we are taught to control. We are taught to love nature but keep your yard tidy and your grass to an unnaturally short height. Well my friends, if you’re looking for beauty in your life, you can’t force it. You can’t control it. And you certainly can’t truly imagine how beautiful something can be until you let it fly free. Defend your milkweeds, encourage them to grow and I promise the butterflies will come. Take some time today to think of milkweeds in your life. The areas that you are trying to control and trying to force but are whacking them down before they can come to fruition. Let go. Let it be. And be amazed at the beauty that can be.

Trail of destruction is the Path to happiness!

In July 2019, my world was shaken up. Conditions at work seemed to be going downhill faster then a teenager in a shopping cart. More and more shifts were being thrown my way and getting time off was impossible. Changes to the work routine were also taking time away from the aspects of work that made my job fulfilling and reduced stress. All these factors were adding up until I could no longer ignore my inner voice. I needed out and I needed it sooner rather then later. I went to see my doctor who agreed that the workplace was a toxic environment to me. He allowed me four weeks off to lower my stress level. I took about two weeks just wallowing in my anxiety and worry about returning to work. At the end of the second week, I downloaded an audio book. This book brought me back to my natural state. It reminded me that all the answers I needed were inside me all along… if I could just stop the constant inner chatter long enough to listen. After about a week of really taking time to get my stress down and to think calmly about things, I started looking for a way to improve my situation. I started applying to jobs. I was hopeful that one would contact me back. However, my phone was rudely silent. I relentlessly checked my email to no avail. At this point my anxiety crept right back up on me. I started to lose sleep and I was truly panicking at the thought of work. One morning while I was practicing my morning ritual of insane amount of caffeine on my back porch sanctuary, I got the idea to Google “best courses for nurses to take”. The first course that came up was not the usual wound care or IV therapy. Instead it was a life coach company. I clicked on it out of pure curiosity. For me, it would be a short course. It would build on the coaching I already knew how to do with my patients. Still, I wasn’t convinced. I needed more information. I started googling life coaches in my area. Low and behold there were many! My inner child giggled with giddy excitement. A job that took my favourite part of nursing and made it my only job. Yes, this was what I needed. This was what I wanted and this was a dream I knew I had to follow! So it is now September and I hope you follow me while I follow my dreams of transformation.